


And Only the Stars Will Be Our Witness

by Infinite_Vibrance (gindokiis)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mild Language, and this is what comes up, i was in the mood for angst and fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 21:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1363129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gindokiis/pseuds/Infinite_Vibrance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're not pathetic, Tony. You're <i>human</i>. And, contrary to belief, that kind of gives you the a-okay to have feelings and enjoy them."</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Only the Stars Will Be Our Witness

For the millionth time that night Tony pulled at the confining death trap hanging from his neck that society deemed all men had to wear for social appearances--his tie. Blood red and annoying, Tony was more concerned about not passing out from lack of air to his brain than whatever business proposal this plump little porker was trying to pitch at him.

"And another reason why I think our merger would be beneficial to the world at large--"

Tony held up a hand. "One moment," he downed his glass of scotch, feeling the pleasant burn run down his throat, and sighed. "Okay. Now that I've properly medicated myself for this painful injection of what you think is right, I'm ready to listen to your proposal."

The reaction to his catalyst was instantaneous. The rolls of fat that were ingrained within Porker's face sagged with the help of gravity as he frowned. Sort of like a black hole sucking up everything in it's way, only the black hole was fat and it didn't look as cool as you'd think it would.

"Mr. Stark, I'll have you know that my company is the leading force in international car production!"

"Awesome. I'm sure there's someone at Ford who has pictures of you all over their office because they are so very in love with you." Tony drawled, wondering where the nearest waiter was so he could refill his glass. These parties were pointless if Tony couldn't go through the night completely shitfaced.

Porker sputtered, a sound that reminded Tony of a dying car engine--much to his amusement--and hobbled back into the crowd to no doubt complain about the rough edges that laced Tony Stark's personality tonight.

He hated galas. Okay, hate is a very strong word. He could _tolerate_ them but Tony Stark would rather spend his nights locked in his workshop creating technology that was 50, 100, centuries beyond what the world could even imagine in their wildest dreams. The only benefits of these social functions was one-upping people and scoring some dates for the ride home. Other than that Tony only came to these things to show face.

That, and Pepper knew all the security codes to his workshop and overrode them whenever convenient for her. Much to Tony's inconvenience and mild annoyance. Only mild.

Speaking of Pepper, she was the highlight of every and all conversation that night. Dressed in a very form-fitting, black sweetheart dress, Pepper stole the show with both her brains and beauty. As she parted the sea of people to make her way to Tony, men and women from all sides tried to stop her for conversation, compliments, hook ups, and rejections. Pepper greeted them all with a smile, though the lines seemed to thin as she met Tony.

"I thought I told you to behave tonight," she hissed through her smile as she swiped Tony's glass.

Tony frowned at the coldness that seemed to envelop his hand at the loss of his glass. "Hey, I was using that--!"

"Focus, Tony.You can't just go on automatic asshole mode when you don't want deal with people. It's called _politely rejecting_."

"Yeah, well, people like Pillsbury over there wouldn't get the hint from _polite rejection_. You gotta be firm and to the point with guys like him."

"I don't remember raising you this way."

"Hilarious considering I don't remember being raised by you at all."

Pepper rolled her eyes, placing Tony's empty glass on a nearby silver platter as the waiter walked by. She turned back to Tony with a small smile on her face and fuck, Tony knew he was about to be bombarded with words he'd rather not here.

"I thought you said you were doing okay now."

"You mean after you broke up with me for the Ryan Reynolds look alike?" Was that spite coating Tony's words or was his hunger making him insatiable?

Pepper narrowed her eyes. "Please, Tony. You can't take your bitterness out on others--"

"--I'm not bitter!"

"--It's not good for business, and it's not doing any good for _you._ I love you, Tony. You know I do. But we couldn't have continued our relationship the way it was going. We never saw each other! We lived in the same house but it felt like we were strangers."

"We had breakfast together," Tony argued meekly.

Pepper scoffed. "Breakfasts with Hologram Tony do not count."

"Alright, fine! That was a stretch." Tony threw his hands in the air, completely done with this conversation. This really wasn't the proper place to talk about old flames and reopen wounds.

"Look, you're right. As usual. I'm letting my emotions get the better of me. God knows the world's about to implode when Tony Stark starts to feel."

"Tony--"

Tony interrupted her with a chaste kiss on the cheek. His lips burned. She smelled great--like regret and misery. "I'll cheer up. For business sake. Because, really, _I'm fine_."

Before Pepper could say anything, Tony Stark turned on his heel, fixed a plastic smile upon his face, and vanished into the crowd.

* * *

The night dragged on like this: Tony's switch flipped and he turned from ignorant asshole to charismatic playboy in about five seconds flat. He drank like 2014 became 1920 and the only age to care about was the jazz age. Gatsby would have been so proud. Tony may or may not have groped a couple of butts in his drunken haze but, really, no one was sober enough to keep count.

And for a while, Pepper and the break up and feeling were the last things on Tony's mind.

Then, as the party was reaching its climax, Tony with a beautiful redhead pressed against his body, the world sort of... snapped. Kind of like, all of the sudden, all his repressed memories and thoughts and turmoils all came crashing down on him. Tony felt sick. He mumbled a weak apology, hands shaking, as he pushed himself away from what's her face and headed outside for fresh air.

He was greeted with a burst of cold air. Shivering, Tony wrapped his arms around himself and headed for the balcony. Out of plain desperation, Tony gazed up at the sky. Not a star in sight. Bleak and empty--like his life.

He should be over it, over Pepper, by now. Two months were up and Tony had went through every bucket of ice cream in New York. He was supposed to be repairing the broken circuits in his heart but to no avail. There was still this big, black, cold void that demanded to be filled. And man did he try to fill that void with as many bodies and bottles of vodka he could scrape by.

But it still _wasn't enough_.

Pepper _wasn't the one_.

And all the people he tried to pull into his life and suck into the void weren't the one either.

"Pathetic," Tony barked, leaning forward against the railing. Pathetic, really, to hope for something as foolish as true love. Love wasn't logical. You couldn't create it with numbers and algorithms. Love was the sort of ambiguous topic that _'everyone has their own definition to'_.

Tony, for the life of him, could never tell you what it meant to be 'in love'.

Because he thought he was in love with Pepper, but perhaps the feelings he held for her--the rush and excitement and want and need--weren't enough to generate the power needed to reach that pinnacle of love.

"I don't think you look _that_ bad," a voice said from behind.

Tony peered over his shoulder. Behind him stood a man, blond hair, blue eyes, a cheeky little grin. He wore a simple suit accented with a dark blue tie. The guy didn't look comfortable in it at all. Like a second skin forced upon him that refused to let go. His hands were hidden within his pockets as he walked over to Tony's side.

Tony snorted. "Are you trying to hit on me?"

"Not really," the blond paused. Blue eyes flickered over to Tony, "Is it working?"

This time Tony laughed. The sound was foreign, though. Genuine. "Tony Stark," he held out his hand.

The blond smiled and Tony couldn't help but think 'wow, not bad.' "Steve Rogers." he replied as he shook Tony’s hand.

"Hey, Rogers... wanna get out of here?"

"Yes _please_. I've been forced into this monkey suit long enough."

* * *

Tony had offered to drive his car, a nice little Mercedes that would surely turn heads. Steve smacked down that offer immediately.

"No. If we're going to leave we're going to do so in style."

Tony really had no idea what could be more stylish than a Mercedes, but apparently Steve had better plans.

"Really?" Tony whistled appreciatively at the Harley Davidson as Steve mounted his ride. "This is your definition of style? I don't know whether to be impressed or embarrassed."

"Impressed," Steve said as he turned on the ignition. The motorcycle purred to life and man that was a beautiful sound. Tony may have just fallen in love with a motorcycle. Steve patted the space behind him. “Well, coming?”

Tony raised an eyebrow. Wasn’t expecting that. Not that he never rode a motorcycle before but maybe Pepper’s warnings about not going off with every cute stranger you meet were finally making sense. Oh wait, he just thought of Pepper. Oh no, he just thought of her again--

“Coming,” Tony smirked before mounting the motorcycle. He wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist. “I hope this isn’t some plot to kidnap me. I refuse to be sold onto the black market without you talking to my lawyer first.”

Tony couldn’t see it but he was pretty sure Steve was rolling his eyes at him. “Nothing gets by you, does it?”

“Of course not. I’m a genius.”

Steve didn’t reward Tony with a verbal response. He revved up the engine and sped out of the parking garage. Tony may or may not have instinctively held onto Steve tighter. Not because he was scared or anything. No, no, he was definitely a daredevil who laughed as the wind blew through his hair and the city buildings blurred by them. He was most definitely not inwardly wondering what the hell he got himself into now.

“You’re holding on pretty tight,” Steve yelled.

“Only for safety precautions. If I fly back we both fly back.”

Though Tony really had no idea where they were going. Or what Steve had in mind. Couldn’t have been sex--and yes Tony was disappointed--because they passed by several hotels that could have housed their night of passion. He was almost 95% positive that the guy he was hooking up but not really hooking up with wasn’t some crazy axe murderer who would lead Tony to his doom. Only because Tony was pretty sure axe murders didn’t carry abs of steel underneath their shirts--

No wait. Wouldn’t they carry abs of steel because they had to swing around that heavy axe all the time--?

Oh God he was _dead_.

Thankfully, to Tony’s present surprise, he wasn’t about to be maimed. The city line disappeared and all that surrounded them was, well, they were still in the city but there were park benches and paths and, oh gosh, trees.

“Inwood Hill Park?” Tony asked incredulously as Steve cut the engine.

Steve ran a hand through his hair. He got off the back and shrugged off his jacket, throwing it onto the handlebar of his motorcycle. “The best place to see stars at night,” he shrugged. As if that made perfect sense.

Which, yeah, okay it did a little bit.

But Tony never would have pegged Steve as a exhibitionist.

Okay wait. Steve never even mentioned sex. Though Tony kind of wanted it. You know, to fill the void. It was cold and normally sex was an activity that generated enough heat to numb the cold, ironically enough.

Steve blushed. Oh was he thinking about sex too? “That sounded really lame. We, uh, we don’t have to stargaze. I just thought--I saw you looking at the sky and you can’t really see the stars in the middle of the city with all those buildings.”

Tony blinked. Wow. Okay. He was not expecting that. All this time he thought Steve was some cheeky little blond boy looking for some time to kill. He hadn’t even known that Steve was there while he was looking up at the sky searching for... something, nothing? Possibly more. Tony swallowed. Dammit, why didn’t he have his sunglasses on him? Then he could exude outwardly confidence while inwardly breaking down from the sudden gesture of... of... niceness.

God, Steve was scary.

“I knew it,” Steve shot Tony a shaky smile. “It was out of line of me to take you here, right? I mean, you’re Tony Stark and you do amazing things every single day and I’m sure you wouldn’t--”

“--Want to do anything else but go stargazing with my new favorite person,” Tony interrupted, flashing him a small smile of his own. “I’d love to. Got a favorite spot?”

Steve’s shocked expression melted into one of barely contained joy as he went for Tony’s hand. “I have several. But I’ll show you my favorite favorite spot.”

* * *

Steve’s favorite spot apparently was a grassy little hill that overlooked the lake. He sat down and beckoned for Tony to join him. “Finally, I can take of this stupid tie.” Steve undid his tie and threw it down the hill, laughing with relief.

Tony snorted, but he did pretty much the same thing. “Not much of a suit and tie guy, I see.”

“Hate them,” Steve admitted. “I like to actually be able to breathe in my clothing. The only reason why I came tonight was for my friend, Bucky.”

“Oh?” Tony never heard of a Bucky. Probably a nouveau riche who felt daring enough to crash one of the many opulent parties New York was famous for.

“Oh indeed. Hated every second of it.” Steve continued. “Bucky’s the social one, not me. He was swamped up in the glitz and glam before we even stepped through the door.”

“So you’re a wallflower,” Tony commented. Whoops, that could have been seen as an insult. Sometimes Tony’s mouth just went on autopilot and anything was fair game.

Luckily, Steve nodded--ready to accept the title. “Born and raised. Like I said, parties aren’t really my thing. And I wasn’t in the mood to meet and greet people who are more shallow than a rain puddle.”

Tony was tempted to say _well sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m the most shallow guy you’d ever meet_ but bit back his tongue. Disengaging asshole mode is a success. “Had me fooled, though. With the way you approached me and all. Then again, I’m quite handsome so it’s no surprised that you’d break standard protocol to talk to me.”

Steve did something that not a lot of people actually did. He looked Tony square in the eyes.

“I broke standard protocol because you looked like you needed someone.”

Bare, no shades to shield the turbulent emotions reflecting in Tony’s eyes, Steve saw everything. Every damn thing Tony had tried to bury and push away for weeks. Tony swallowed, averting eye contact. This wasn’t okay. This wasn’t okay at all. He wasn’t supposed to meet someone who threw him this out of whack without even trying. Tony’s game was slipping. This was getting too deep.

No. He could see himself getting too deep. Swallowed by the void. Consumed. Gone.

He took a shaky breath. “I wasn’t... sad. I was drunk. There’s a difference.” Build a wall. Barricade yourself, Tony. Don’t let anyone in again.

“Drunk people don’t cry.”

That had done it. The one key part of the story Tony hid away from prying eyes. That he felt a wetness staining his cheeks. That he wished and prayed that his life without Pepper wouldn’t turn into a bleak and meaningless dream like hoping that one day you’d see stars dotting the background of the New York skyline.

Those pitiful hopes and dreams you keep locked away because high expectations have nasty downfalls--those sort of things.

And then, Tony just sort of... broke. Maybe it was because he’d been bottling his thoughts and feelings for awhile. Maybe it was because all the alcohol in the world could do nothing more but ache his pain to a numb, annoying dull that throbbed everytime he looked at the salt and pepper shakers sitting on his kitchen table. Maybe it was because Tony was so desperate for someone to go to that wouldn’t try to sympathize or understand but just _fucking listen_ that he broke.

Into pieces.

Right there underneath the stars with Steve by his side.

Tony confessed to everything. About his guilt for not being more committed. About his regrets for not trying harder. About his failure of being the best guy for Pepper. About the overwhelming emptiness he _still_ felt even when he was _with_ Pepper. All of it. And Steve hung onto every word, face blank as an unpainted canvas. Tony had no idea if Steve was really listening or just tuning him out, but he didn’t care. Tony was a rambler and once he got going he kept going until he crashed and burned. Tony talked about his failure of a rehab session from the break up. About how the dark chasm within his heart was huge and growing by the day. He talked about his fear of never being able to _try_ again because he was too much of a coward to reach out to anyone.

“I’m pathetic,” he said for the second time that night, burying his face into his hands. Tony let loose a broken chuckle. “Here I am confessing to a perfect stranger all my troubles. JARVIS would be so jealous. That’s my butler, by the way.” He sniffed, rubbing at his nose. “He’s an AI. Artificial Intelligence. A man among boys.”

Steve shook his head, laughing softly under his breath. “You’re not pathetic, Tony. You’re _human_. And, contrary to belief, that kind of gives you the a-okay to have feelings and enjoy them.”

“But they suck!” Tony whined. Oh gosh, now he was being childish. What next, were they going to kiss?

Steve leaned forward and cupped Tony’s face, running a thumb along the stubble of his beard. Blue eyes flickered to Tony’s lips for a breath second before locking eyes with Tony. “They do suck. Quite a bit. But they’re actually wonderful too. Because you can feel happy just like you can feel sad. And you can feel in love just as you can feel heartbreak. You can’t have the good without the bad, right?”

Actually you could if you tried hard enough but before Tony could give one of his world famous quips, Steve kissed him.

Well then.

It was certainly a _shock_. Considering Tony felt raw and opened and vulnerable but Steve had just went for it. Gone was that bashful boy and in came this confident blondie who knew a thing or twelve about the finer points of kissing. And something within Tony lurched. Painfully, at first, and then all at once the something released staccato bursts of enjoyment. A pleasurable tingle danced up Tony’s spine and he reciprocated the kiss with high enthusiasm.

When they broke apart, Tony felt the warmth slowly spread through his veins. Filling that void--not completely--but a little bit. After weeks of pointless flings and empty arrangements, Tony felt the full-on yearning and urge _for more_. More of Steve’s kisses and more of Steve’s touches and just... just more of Steve.

“How do you feel?” Steve dared to ask. His lips plump and red, used raw from their kissing session. His cheeks were flushed too, and he even bit his lips in an adorable way that made Tony’s heart clench something horrible.

“I feel...” Tony’s brain was racing with a thousand words to use but the only one that stuck out to him was, “better.”

Steve’s smile after that was positively radiant.

* * *

They spent one final hour together in the park. Closer than before. Hands intertwined and Tony’s head resting on Steve’s shoulder. Casual but _not casual_. Because Tony knew his head couldn’t have felt so perfectly snug on Steve’s shoulder without there being some logical reason such as his head was freaking meant for Steve’s shoulder.

They talked about shallow things. Not shallow in a bad way but shallow as in, Tony couldn’t do anything deeper because that would be emotional suicide, so any other topic of conversation that avoided too-personal stuff was a big, fat, go. Tony talked about his inventions and Steve talked about his artwork. Apparently it was a hobby of his that stuck with him even after high school.

“It’s nothing fantastic. Just a few sketches and stuff.”

“You’ll have to show me your work next time.” Tony offered, as if next time was actual a reality. “I’ll even let you draw me. Capture my handsome profile down on paper.”

“There you go with that modesty again,” Steve grinned. He glanced up at the stars again before exhaling a sigh. “I think it’s time we go. The party’s probably over by now.”

“Do we have to?” Tony was not begging. He was definitely not whining either. Nope he was just voicing a concern. But he felt his phone buzz and he cursed outright because the only person who would call him would be Pepper and that meant he was _screwed_. “Alright,” Tony pulled himself up along with Steve. “Let’s head back. But first.”

He pulled Steve in for another kiss. Because he was greedy that way.

* * *

 

They reached back to the party about an hour later. Because Steve took the long way and Tony hadn’t complained about getting back at a reasonable time. The party was way passed being over. Only a few cars lingered in the parking lot. Steve pulled into an empty space and turned off the engine.

“That was...”

“A lot of fun?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

Steve nodded. “Amazing.”

The words _we probably won’t be able to do this again_ flew through Tony’s mind but he snapped it shut.

“You should come to these parties more often next time.” Tony offered.

“They’re not really my scene but... I think I’d make an exception for you.”

Now they should say goodbye. Go their separate ways. Strangers doing one another a favor. But Tony found that his feet were glued to the floor and that moving anymore than five feet away from Steve was practically impossible. Then he heard Pepper call his name. And he sort of _had_ to move then because not listening to Pepper the first time was always a terrible mistake.

Steve made the first move. He wrote something and then slipped a little piece of paper into Tony’s hand. “Bye, Tony.” he whispered before kissing Tony on the lips. He mounted his motorcycle, revved the engine, and drove away.

Pepper came storming in, ready to give Tony and earful about how him being irresponsible and leaving the gala early. Which she did. Tony’s ear would be ringing for days--maybe weeks--after that smackdown. After it was all said and down, she pointed to the paper in Tony’s hand.

“What’s that?”

Tony peered down at the piece of paper. Written on it was Steve’s name, his number, and a little note that said " _Call me when you want to feel better again"._

Tony could feel his face splitting and had to clamp down on the wild grin that wanted to break loose. “A secret.”

Oh yes, he’d most _definitely_ call Steve again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys all enjoyed! (: I'm debating whether or not I want to make a companion fic to this one shot or not... so we'll see what happens. I'm also revamping my personal blog so you should all totes def follow me on tumblr!
> 
> http://datyaoihand.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> I swear I'm funnier than this on a daily basis.


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